Something on my mind

Blogging has been the last thing on my mind recently.

Regular visitors to Bouche in the City will know that my father has Huntington’s disease and that I have a 50% chance of inheriting HD. I have never been tested and my mantra has always been that I will not be tested until I became aware of possible symptoms of the disease.

I guess for a long time I was not concerned and I guess deep down I thought that I didn’t have HD. I have a good memory, I wasn’t showing any motor symptoms and I wasn’t showing any emotional symptoms.

That was until last summer. I had some work done on my teeth and I had noticed that I occasionally bit down on my crown, which caused me to pull a face. It soon passed after a couple of weeks, or so I thought. Then after several months, my mother and husband noticed that I did it quite frequently. I am not aware that I do it and if I really concentrate then I can stop it.

During the same time, I also noticed that I would get involuntary movements in my feet and would get pains in my legs, at night whilst asleep.
I didn’t mention it to anyone, not a soul. I desperately wanted to tell my husband, but his mother was battling cancer and was very poorly. We needed to focus on her and making her comfortable through the cancer treatment.

My mother in law passed away in November. It was a difficult time (still is to be honest) I focused on being there for my husband and put my concerns back in the box in my head. I started to feel so angry about my mother in law’s death and would often find it hard to keep my emotions in check.
After Christmas, I decided I had to book an appointment with the genetic counsellor for the new year. It was after I had arranged it, I told Mr Bouche. He was obviously upset but understood why I needed to see her.

I went to the appointment and after speaking to the counsellor, I have decided to see a geneticist to have a motor test done. They will be able to observe me and conclude whether I am showing signs of HD. Depending on the results of that test, I will then decide whether to have the full gene test or not.

There is so much to think about and I am terrified to be honest. I am trying to be positive but some days that can be really hard. I will probably have a few weeks wait before I see the geneticist and is going to feel like the longest wait ever. But, what will be, will be.

A nervous Bouche

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