Return of the Bouche

A couple of months ago, I realised that I hadn’t blogged for a while and I thought to myself that I should get back to it and write a post. But, if I am honest I just couldn’t be bothered. It wasn’t that I had fell out of love with the Bouche blog or that I didn’t want to write (I have had plenty to write about!) I can’t even say I haven’t had time as I had six and a half weeks off in the summer after having carpal tunnel surgery!
I can’t really pinpoint what has made me not want to blog. It is probably been an amalgamation of things. I know feel like I want to blog again and hopefully this time, I won’t lose my momentum.

My last post told of my pending motor test for HD and touched very slightly on how I was feeling about it. I was very nervous as I had convinced myself that I was showing signs of HD. I have always had a firm plan regarding any kind of testing for Huntington’s disease.
I am very anti having the genetic testing for Huntington’s disease done. I have always said that if I was concerned that I was showing symptoms that I would have the motor function test done first. If this showed that I was showing some symptoms, then I would have the full genetic test done.
So I had the motor test done and I am not showing any symptoms of HD, which means I won’t be taking the gene test in the foreseeable future. Which came as huge relief. It also gave us the green light to start trying for a baby. Our baby plans came to a halt last year as Mr Bouche’s mum was diagnosed with lung cancer in February 2012 and passed away in November 2012. But, we decided to start trying in July this year (I have another post on this, following shortly!)

I have put all my personal fears to rest for now. However, Daddy Bouche has been going downhill slowly in 2013. Nothing major, but I just know in his eyes he has had enough. He has had some chest infections and his eating has become a little erratic at times where he does not want his food when being fed. He coughs quite a lot when being fed and his feeding is becoming a concern as he cannot be fed safely anymore.
After a meeting with his gp, speech therapist and staff at his home, it has been decided between us that he will have a peg fitted to feed him directly into his stomach. I have really battled with this in my head as his eating was the last one pleasure he had (albeit eating puréed food). I feel like I am forcing something on him that he wouldn’t want but I also cannot let him be fed dangerously or not at all. It has been really hard and we are just waiting on the appointment for the gastroentologist.

My younger brother M has also decided to have the HD test a few weeks ago and he gets his result next week. I am terrified for him. There is a part of me that thinks he has HD and I have done for a long while but I still hope that he is HD free. My wonderful uncle (Daddy Bouche’s brother) had the test earlier in the year and was negative which was amazing news. I just hope M has the same result!

More to follow……

Bouche x x x

Goodbye 2012, hello 2013

So here we are, in 2013. 2012 brought much sadness and I am glad to see the back of it, if I am honest. 2012 brought a fantastic new job for me and greatness, work wise for Mr Bouche. Little J passed his 11 plus with flying colours and 2012 had the potential of being a great year. However, Mr Bouche’s mum was diagnosed with lung cancer in February and sadly lost her fight in November.
It has been a difficult 12 months and some days are better than others. We are all grieving and Mr Bouche is finding it particularly tough. It is hard to start a new year on a positive note with the sadness that surrounds us. But, we are battling on.

I did make some resolutions last year which you can read here https://boucheinthecity.wordpress.com/2012/01/07/new-years-resolutions-goals/

Did I stick to any of them? Well, one maybe. I found my dream job and work wise I am so happy. I didn’t do great on the blog front. I did not manage to do much about my body but I did become less pessimistic and I think I did ok at being a friend.

So what resolutions do I have 2013? Well I have decided on quite a few and I do aim to stick to them!

I am going to wear more sequins – When purchasing an outfit for a night out in 2013, I will be seeking out sequins and bling. I am 34 this year and realise that I may have to start being cautious when choosing outfits soon, as to not look like mutton dressed as lamb. So while I can, I am going to rock the bling and sequins!

I am going to try and eat less and exercise more – I am not going to go on a diet this year but I am going to join the gym and start doing the spinning classes I love again. When I was at my happiest (figure wise) I ate sensibly, ate out, had the odd treat and did three spinning classes a week. So I am adopting this mantra once again and hopefully I will start loving my figure once again.

I am going to wear less makeup – I love looking glam but looking back on some photos from 2012, in some instances I look more drag than fab. I am toning it down for my daytime look, going easier on the eyebrow pencil and going for a more smokey eye / neutral lip look for nights out.

I am going to let things go – I am going to stop worrying about things I cannot control. Sadly in 2012, one of my friendships deteriorated. One of my oldest and closest friends and I drifted apart. I have tried to keep things going but it has not been reciprocated. I am not sure if I could have done more from her point of view but I have tried to keep the flow of communication going but it hasn’t. Obviously, I am sad about this but I guess this is what happens in life. People drift apart and people can be in different places. I need to stop worrying and pondering on this situation and maybe in time we will reconnect but for now, I am going to let things go.

I am going to listen more – I am a bit of a whirlwind at times. I can be excitable and when friends are talking to me, I can on occasion be known to butt in and talk about myself. Friends have told me things and I have been so airy fairy that I haven’t taken things in. I know this must be frustrating so in 2013, I am making a conscious effort to listen.

I am going to stop saving things for best – If 2012 taught me anything, it is that life is too short. I am going to light my posh candles, use my expensive bath oil and drink that expensive bottle of wine.

I am going to try and dress nicer than I think I should – On those days when I think I’ll just throw an outfit together, I am going to stop myself and think about dressing a touch nicer. I am going to think about my outfits for work the night before and accessorise more. When just going to the pub in the evening I am going to dress up more, than I have in the past, and when going out for a special occasion I am going to try and not wear my faithful skinny jeans and pull out all the stops.

I have high hopes for 2013. I am hoping for a happy home life, no more sadness, successful work life and fingers crossed, maybe our plans for a baby may come to fruition.

Here’s to 2013.

Bouche x x x

Bouche is back

I posted a couple of times last week. A brief picture post and my follow up post on Jimmy Savile. I needed easing in gently. The past three months have been hectic, emotional and pretty awful to be honest. Mr Bouche lost his mum six weeks ago after a mere 8 months of battling cancer and hence I have really not felt like writing.
He is obviously devastated and although I am trying to be the best support that I can, I also miss her immensely. Some days I break down and some days it still doesn’t feel real. Grief is a bizarre thing and I think Mr Bouche and I are in for some emotional roller coaster rides in the coming weeks and months.
I don’t necessarily think Bouche in the city is somewhere to share my thoughts, memories and sadness. As my wonderful mother in law would not want me to pour out my thoughts about her in such a public way.
She would however want me to get back to blogging (which I love) and write some humorous, witty and random posts. So that is what I am going to do. I am feeling like my mojo is returning slightly and I am feeling ready to write. I am sure some of the posts I will write in the coming weeks will be utter bollocks but I will write them all the same!
I hope I haven’t lost any of my audience (if sparse at times) and my coming posts are not too shabby.
Sorry I have been away but I know you will all understand! (And if you don’t you can do one!)

Bouche x x x