This is my open letter to my Daddy…
We have been through so much together and I wanted to write you this letter for father’s day.
I am sorry that you are the way you are now. I miss the old you but I am grateful for the memories I have of you, when you were well. I am blessed, as little brother was only 4 when you were diagnosed and I know his memories of you being well are limited.
I want to thank you for being a fabulous Daddy, who worked hard to give us everything you could. You worked so hard that you never took holiday and thus we never went abroad together. However, you made up for that in other ways.
My earliest memory of you and I, was when you took me to Hastings beach with Grandma and you took me into the sea. I was only 3 and a wave came in and swept me under. You held my hand and when I emerged from the water I said ‘That was fun Daddy, can we do that again’. You taught to swim and even though you worked so hard you took me swimming every sunday to practise. You taught me to not be scared and I became a strong swimmer.
When I was 9, I decided I wanted to join the local judo club. I remember you taking me to buy my suit. They offered us a second-hand one. You said ‘no, my fanny ann will be having a brand new one’. That was typical of you, You always made sure that I had the best of everything.
You may have been working so hard that you didn’t make my nativity or the school plays, but you bought Mummy a video camera so you could watch. You always seemed proud. I remember being 10 and being in the school choir. We were invited to join the Kent music school and we recorded christmas songs for Radio Kent, and eventually sang at the Albert Hall. You were so proud. You had a recording and made duplicates to send to all the family. I remember that you had a copy in your car and played it on your way to work.
It was around this time that the signs of the Huntington’s started to surface. I remember you taking us to Chessington and Mummy was scared to go on the rides. You came on everything with me. We had such a fantastic day but you tripped and fell. You hit your head and it was bleeding. I also remember the Ramsgate carnival when little brother was about 6 weeks old. You cradled him in your arms all day. You were such a show off! You fell that day too, by the model village. None of us had any idea of what was to come a few years later.
You were such a strong man, a man’s man, who loved his Aston Martin’s and motor racing. But, you always made time to take us out for sunday lunch (every week), supported every hobby we had, whether it was Judo, motocross (yes I was a tomboy), dancing, gymnastics or swimming. You would always play fuzzy felt and sindy’s with me. When I was a toddler I always got up at 5.30 just so I could brush your false teeth (ergh!) because I idolised you. You always made room for me to snooze on the sofa with you when I was little.
Thank you for the wonderful memories that I have. These memories are cherished by me. I wish we had, had more time when you was well together. I miss my old Daddy and I am so desperately sad for the HD taking over.
I wish Mr Bouche had known you when you were well. I feel he really missed out. However, you may not be able to say it but I know you approve of Mr Bouche by the look in your eyes and the tears at our wedding. He is a fantastic father and he will make a fantastic father to any children we have, just like you.
I love you and I cherish all the memories.
With love forever
Your Fanny Ann (aka Bouche) x x x