Different strokes

I live my life by one phrase and that is we are all different. Everyone has a different story and that story shapes who they are as a person.
My story started off as conventional one with myself and my two brothers, growing up with my parents who married the year before I was born.
When I was 13, my world came crashing down, when my dad was diagnosed with huntington’s disease. My mum had a breakdown and I ended up in the care of my dad’s brother and his wife. My mum was always quite a hard woman and I was left to deal with the news pretty much on my own as she couldn’t deal with the emotions of a teenager.
Needless to say I ended up having professional help to deal with my feelings. I was heartbroken, scared and felt very alone.
Eventually, I went back home until my mum divorced my dad when I was 18. It was then I started my own story, where I would never ‘need’ anyone else again. I was quite hard and never let people take advantage of me. What I wanted in life was going to be mine if I worked hard enough. I studied hard and got a good job.
Although, I guess there was always something missing. I had my own place, own money and boyfriend. I never realised what was missing until I met my now husband.
He got me. He understood that I was strong and had barriers and he managed to break through. I think that he showed me that if he cared enough about me, I could care enough back. I have shared more with him than I have ever shared with anyone else.

I still have barriers and I lack confidence. People always say that I am really confident. It’s a cover! I put the huge barriers up to try and fit in and I guess be liked.

My story still has many chapters to go. But, I hope that, I become the person I hope to be. One thing is for certain is that for little J and any other children we have, I enable them to start their story with as much support and love as I can give. I know you never know what is around the corner but hopefully I won’t f*** them up!

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