I have let my body down. In 2003, I was a size 10. This was the year I started dating my husband. I remember him saying that he had done well for himself and when we went on our first holiday, I dressed to impressed (my suitcase included a pvc top, denim hot pants, a suede skirt, a chain mail backless top, a bikini top to be worn alone in the evening with linen trousers and a halterneck playsuit!)
Fast forward eight years and I am now a size 14 and I wear lots of black (it is slimming don’t you know!) I am nearly 3 stone heavier and I’m disappointed in myself. How did I get like this? I haven’t even had children yet! This is a question I ask myself daily.
I still make a great effort with the way I look, but some days it hardly seems worth it. I can still see what looks like my figure underneath it all but my ‘bubble butt’ and ‘foodbaby’ have taken over! Thank god I have a decent pair of fairly pert and large boobies!
In January , I decided enough was enough! Even though I had lost weight for our wedding last year, I was still not liking what was looking back at me in the mirror. So, I went to weight watchers.
Weight watchers has changed since the last time I went and the points system is a little more complex. It is designed to make you lose weight but at a slower pace and to keep it off, FOREVER.
So the start of my weight loss has been slower than I hoped. I have been going over 2 months now and I have managed to lose just under a stone, 12 and a half pounds to be precise.
Last night, I reached my first goal – I have lost 5% of my body weight!
I have just over two stone to go but now I have reached the first goal the end seems achievable.
I long for the day I can wear something bright, unsmock-like and something that I don’t worry will cling to my unwelcome curves. I want to be the girl I once was. I know I am 8 years older but I want my old body back!
Those size 10 days were the days, where I would enjoy getting ready for a night out with my husband (then boyfriend) and his eyes did the complimenting. He has always told me I looked nice and shown interest when I have shown him clothes I have bought. But, somehow it feels more of a compliment when I can see that I look (in his eyes) hot! Ha ha. I know he loves me whatever, he isn’t hung up on weight like I am.
Since I’ve known him (11 years in all) I have been a size 8, a size 10, a size 12, a size 14 and upward to an 18. He has always told me I’m beautiful and look good. I just long for that day when I can put something slinky on, look in the mirror and think “you don’t scrub up too bad!”. It might not be an appropriate outfit for a married, step mum, who is 32 (the age I hope to be at goal) but even if I don’t leave the house, I want to feel amazing and see an open-mouthed husband with phwoar written in his eyes.
Wish me luck on my continuing journey!
Bouche x x x