If you had asked me when I was 21 what I hoped I had achieved in ten years, I would have said to be a trader, own my own home and drive a beautiful sports car. Being rich in life involved possessions rather than people and love. I guess you could say a lot has changed in ten years and the achievements I dreamt of, have not come to fruition and for that I am glad!
I have a wonderful husband who adores me (that I never expected), I am surrounded by wonderful friends and I like to live my days with a cease the day attitude. Having a terminally father in his mid fifties will help re-evaluate your life! I have great achievements for which I am proud.
That said, since we got married in August last year all anyone can ask me is when we are having a baby!
I love children don’t get me wrong. They are a special gift. I am already blessed with a wonderful step son, neices, nephews, step sister and my friends lovely children. I always engage in conversations about all the children and I have loved spending time watching them grow.
I was asked for the umpteenth time at the weekend when we are having a baby. My response is generic now and it is ‘we are happy just us for now but who knows about the future’. This is however, often met with the same response… ‘It will be the making of you and will complete you both’.
Now this is where I get a little frustrated. What if we can’t have a baby? We haven’t tried, one of us might not work. what happens then? Will I be unfullfilled in my life and be a person who hasn’t ‘made it’ in life? Will people look at me as a failure?
The three of us have shared so much together and if another child didn’t come along I don’t think I would feel like I failed. I think I am a good step mum, god parent and auntie. I will be proud watching all these children growing up and if I will give them my love and time along the way I will surely be blessed and proud.
What’s so wrong it just being ‘US’ for now, what’s the rush?
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