Return of the Bouche

A couple of months ago, I realised that I hadn’t blogged for a while and I thought to myself that I should get back to it and write a post. But, if I am honest I just couldn’t be bothered. It wasn’t that I had fell out of love with the Bouche blog or that I didn’t want to write (I have had plenty to write about!) I can’t even say I haven’t had time as I had six and a half weeks off in the summer after having carpal tunnel surgery!
I can’t really pinpoint what has made me not want to blog. It is probably been an amalgamation of things. I know feel like I want to blog again and hopefully this time, I won’t lose my momentum.

My last post told of my pending motor test for HD and touched very slightly on how I was feeling about it. I was very nervous as I had convinced myself that I was showing signs of HD. I have always had a firm plan regarding any kind of testing for Huntington’s disease.
I am very anti having the genetic testing for Huntington’s disease done. I have always said that if I was concerned that I was showing symptoms that I would have the motor function test done first. If this showed that I was showing some symptoms, then I would have the full genetic test done.
So I had the motor test done and I am not showing any symptoms of HD, which means I won’t be taking the gene test in the foreseeable future. Which came as huge relief. It also gave us the green light to start trying for a baby. Our baby plans came to a halt last year as Mr Bouche’s mum was diagnosed with lung cancer in February 2012 and passed away in November 2012. But, we decided to start trying in July this year (I have another post on this, following shortly!)

I have put all my personal fears to rest for now. However, Daddy Bouche has been going downhill slowly in 2013. Nothing major, but I just know in his eyes he has had enough. He has had some chest infections and his eating has become a little erratic at times where he does not want his food when being fed. He coughs quite a lot when being fed and his feeding is becoming a concern as he cannot be fed safely anymore.
After a meeting with his gp, speech therapist and staff at his home, it has been decided between us that he will have a peg fitted to feed him directly into his stomach. I have really battled with this in my head as his eating was the last one pleasure he had (albeit eating puréed food). I feel like I am forcing something on him that he wouldn’t want but I also cannot let him be fed dangerously or not at all. It has been really hard and we are just waiting on the appointment for the gastroentologist.

My younger brother M has also decided to have the HD test a few weeks ago and he gets his result next week. I am terrified for him. There is a part of me that thinks he has HD and I have done for a long while but I still hope that he is HD free. My wonderful uncle (Daddy Bouche’s brother) had the test earlier in the year and was negative which was amazing news. I just hope M has the same result!

More to follow……

Bouche x x x

Something on my mind

Blogging has been the last thing on my mind recently.

Regular visitors to Bouche in the City will know that my father has Huntington’s disease and that I have a 50% chance of inheriting HD. I have never been tested and my mantra has always been that I will not be tested until I became aware of possible symptoms of the disease.

I guess for a long time I was not concerned and I guess deep down I thought that I didn’t have HD. I have a good memory, I wasn’t showing any motor symptoms and I wasn’t showing any emotional symptoms.

That was until last summer. I had some work done on my teeth and I had noticed that I occasionally bit down on my crown, which caused me to pull a face. It soon passed after a couple of weeks, or so I thought. Then after several months, my mother and husband noticed that I did it quite frequently. I am not aware that I do it and if I really concentrate then I can stop it.

During the same time, I also noticed that I would get involuntary movements in my feet and would get pains in my legs, at night whilst asleep.
I didn’t mention it to anyone, not a soul. I desperately wanted to tell my husband, but his mother was battling cancer and was very poorly. We needed to focus on her and making her comfortable through the cancer treatment.

My mother in law passed away in November. It was a difficult time (still is to be honest) I focused on being there for my husband and put my concerns back in the box in my head. I started to feel so angry about my mother in law’s death and would often find it hard to keep my emotions in check.
After Christmas, I decided I had to book an appointment with the genetic counsellor for the new year. It was after I had arranged it, I told Mr Bouche. He was obviously upset but understood why I needed to see her.

I went to the appointment and after speaking to the counsellor, I have decided to see a geneticist to have a motor test done. They will be able to observe me and conclude whether I am showing signs of HD. Depending on the results of that test, I will then decide whether to have the full gene test or not.

There is so much to think about and I am terrified to be honest. I am trying to be positive but some days that can be really hard. I will probably have a few weeks wait before I see the geneticist and is going to feel like the longest wait ever. But, what will be, will be.

A nervous Bouche

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Goodbye 2012, hello 2013

So here we are, in 2013. 2012 brought much sadness and I am glad to see the back of it, if I am honest. 2012 brought a fantastic new job for me and greatness, work wise for Mr Bouche. Little J passed his 11 plus with flying colours and 2012 had the potential of being a great year. However, Mr Bouche’s mum was diagnosed with lung cancer in February and sadly lost her fight in November.
It has been a difficult 12 months and some days are better than others. We are all grieving and Mr Bouche is finding it particularly tough. It is hard to start a new year on a positive note with the sadness that surrounds us. But, we are battling on.

I did make some resolutions last year which you can read here https://boucheinthecity.wordpress.com/2012/01/07/new-years-resolutions-goals/

Did I stick to any of them? Well, one maybe. I found my dream job and work wise I am so happy. I didn’t do great on the blog front. I did not manage to do much about my body but I did become less pessimistic and I think I did ok at being a friend.

So what resolutions do I have 2013? Well I have decided on quite a few and I do aim to stick to them!

I am going to wear more sequins – When purchasing an outfit for a night out in 2013, I will be seeking out sequins and bling. I am 34 this year and realise that I may have to start being cautious when choosing outfits soon, as to not look like mutton dressed as lamb. So while I can, I am going to rock the bling and sequins!

I am going to try and eat less and exercise more – I am not going to go on a diet this year but I am going to join the gym and start doing the spinning classes I love again. When I was at my happiest (figure wise) I ate sensibly, ate out, had the odd treat and did three spinning classes a week. So I am adopting this mantra once again and hopefully I will start loving my figure once again.

I am going to wear less makeup – I love looking glam but looking back on some photos from 2012, in some instances I look more drag than fab. I am toning it down for my daytime look, going easier on the eyebrow pencil and going for a more smokey eye / neutral lip look for nights out.

I am going to let things go – I am going to stop worrying about things I cannot control. Sadly in 2012, one of my friendships deteriorated. One of my oldest and closest friends and I drifted apart. I have tried to keep things going but it has not been reciprocated. I am not sure if I could have done more from her point of view but I have tried to keep the flow of communication going but it hasn’t. Obviously, I am sad about this but I guess this is what happens in life. People drift apart and people can be in different places. I need to stop worrying and pondering on this situation and maybe in time we will reconnect but for now, I am going to let things go.

I am going to listen more – I am a bit of a whirlwind at times. I can be excitable and when friends are talking to me, I can on occasion be known to butt in and talk about myself. Friends have told me things and I have been so airy fairy that I haven’t taken things in. I know this must be frustrating so in 2013, I am making a conscious effort to listen.

I am going to stop saving things for best – If 2012 taught me anything, it is that life is too short. I am going to light my posh candles, use my expensive bath oil and drink that expensive bottle of wine.

I am going to try and dress nicer than I think I should – On those days when I think I’ll just throw an outfit together, I am going to stop myself and think about dressing a touch nicer. I am going to think about my outfits for work the night before and accessorise more. When just going to the pub in the evening I am going to dress up more, than I have in the past, and when going out for a special occasion I am going to try and not wear my faithful skinny jeans and pull out all the stops.

I have high hopes for 2013. I am hoping for a happy home life, no more sadness, successful work life and fingers crossed, maybe our plans for a baby may come to fruition.

Here’s to 2013.

Bouche x x x

Bouche’s favourite Christmas song

Those of you that follow me on twitter or know me personally will know that I am not a massive fan of Christmas. Christmas has never been the same for me since my Dad reached the latter stages of HD. I miss curling up on the sofa with Daddy Bouche and watching a Christmas film whilst munching on a chocolate orange or some matchmakers.
Mr Bouche is also a bit of a Bah humbug and this year especially, we are really not feeling the Christmas vibe after losing Mr Bouche’s mum last month.
There are some aspects of Christmas that I do enjoy. I love buying gifts for my nearest and dearest. I love going to church on Christmas Eve for christingle, I love a mulled wine and a slice of stollen and I love a Christmas song.

My favourite Christmas song of all time is Fairytale of New York by The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl. I love the foot stamping chorus and I will at some point over the festive season, be found belting this song out with some feet stamping!

What’s your favourite Christmas song?

Bouche x x x

Bouche is back

I posted a couple of times last week. A brief picture post and my follow up post on Jimmy Savile. I needed easing in gently. The past three months have been hectic, emotional and pretty awful to be honest. Mr Bouche lost his mum six weeks ago after a mere 8 months of battling cancer and hence I have really not felt like writing.
He is obviously devastated and although I am trying to be the best support that I can, I also miss her immensely. Some days I break down and some days it still doesn’t feel real. Grief is a bizarre thing and I think Mr Bouche and I are in for some emotional roller coaster rides in the coming weeks and months.
I don’t necessarily think Bouche in the city is somewhere to share my thoughts, memories and sadness. As my wonderful mother in law would not want me to pour out my thoughts about her in such a public way.
She would however want me to get back to blogging (which I love) and write some humorous, witty and random posts. So that is what I am going to do. I am feeling like my mojo is returning slightly and I am feeling ready to write. I am sure some of the posts I will write in the coming weeks will be utter bollocks but I will write them all the same!
I hope I haven’t lost any of my audience (if sparse at times) and my coming posts are not too shabby.
Sorry I have been away but I know you will all understand! (And if you don’t you can do one!)

Bouche x x x

Jimmy Savile – one year on

Just over a year ago Jimmy Savile passed away and I wrote a blog post in his honour. https://boucheinthecity.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/now-then-now-then-guys-and-gals/

A year later and after much media coverage, I am much more informed as to the kind of man that he was. I contemplated deleting my post from November last year but I have decided to leave on my blog as this was how I felt about him at the time of writing the post. Obviously, my opinion has changed significantly about this so called national treasure. It makes me so sad that he used his fame and status to abuse many young people. They say paedophiles are smart and convincing. It seems he was just that. Even I, someone who never met him was taken in by him and I believed he was a kind hearted human being and hence my post after his passing.

All I hope is that the people who have since been arrested are suitably punished for their actions (if guilty) and the people who were harmed by both Savile and others find some peace.

Jimmy Savile, I hope you do not rest in peace but burn in hell for what you did.

Bouche x x x

Bouche loves bond

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Unless you have been hiding in a cave somewhere you will have heard that the newest bond film is due for release on the 23rd of this month. Having seen the trailer for skyfall, it promises to be all that a bond film should be. A handsome James Bond (courtesy of a delicious Daniel Craig), action, adventure and some beautiful automobiles.

I am particularly excited about skyfall. Is it because it has the gorgeous Daniel Craig in? No. Is is because it was filmed in lots of my favourite London locations? No. It is because it will feature the Aston Martin DB5.

I am no petrol head. But, I love love love a classic Aston. Why you may ask? It is because Daddy Bouche had a few in his time. My dad belonged to the Aston Martin owners club and had a DB5,DB6 and a DB7. I grew up helping daddy wash the Astons on a sunday morning and watching Bond (secretly I think my Dad wanted to be Bond).

I have watched all the bond films. I have watched the older Bond films more than once. Whenever 007 graced our screens Daddy Bouche would be watching and thus the rest of the family would have to watch. In those days we only had a TV in the lounge and a black and white portable in the kitchen.
I have never asked Daddy Bouche who his favourite bond is, but I would guess it is Roger Moore as we watched more of Roger than Sean, Timothy or George. I remember being about 9 and having a bit of a crush on Sir Roger. He is my favourite Bond. He had a certain class that none of the others had. My favourite bond theme tune is Nobody does it better by Carly Simon from The spy who loved me, starring Moore. Carly Simon was one of my Dad’s favourite artists and he used to sing this to me as a small child. So obviously the spy who loved me is my favourite Bond film. When I see the parachute on the opening sequence it brings me right back to being 5/6 years old and watching it with my Dad. He would talk me through all the cars. It is the bond movie with the lotus esprit which goes underwater but it also has the ultra scary villain Jaws! (I used to hide behind the sofa when he came on!) Oddly enough The spy who loved me didn’t feature an Aston Martin, but nether the less I rate it as my top bond film.
Goldfinger is the best Bond film featuring an Aston Martin and Daddy Bouche had a DB5 which he restored himself. I do love that film but I just prefer Sir Roger as Bond. He was just that little bit sexier than Connery in my eyes and had a touch more class and boy did he know how to handle a speedboat.

That said Daddy Bouche would not be amused if I didn’t post some pictures of his Bond inspired cars. So I will do so just to keep him happy here are some pictures, even if my favourite Bond never drove them.

Bouche x x x

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Happy birthday Daddy Bouche

Today is Daddy Bouche’s birthday. He is the grand old age of 57. Mr Bouche and I wanted to do something a bit different for Daddy Bouche’s birthday this year. He has suffered a few infections these past months and for a time, wasn’t his usual self. The infections have passed and during the past month or so he has been much like his usual self. Obviously, some days when we / I visit he is having an off day but the past few visits he has been vocal (not in the word sense but in the noise sense) and has laughed a lot. I do like to joke and tease Daddy Bouche so it is great when I get a response of some kind and for some reason Daddy Bouche finds me funny!

I really wanted to take Dad out for the day. It has been 6 years since I last took him out on my own (when he could still walk) and I remember having such a fun day out. It is impossible for Mr Bouche and I to take him out on our own as we cannot fit his wheelchair in our car. It also concerns me that I may not be able to do what a carer can do for him. I am terrified of feeding him, in case he chokes and the thought of having to change him (he is incontinent) leaves me cold. Dad was a proud man and to do that would horrify both him and I.

So after a conversation with one of mine and his favourite carers, she suggested that we went out in the home’s minibus and went somewhere that had memories for both Dad and I.

So yesterday we went to whitstable. I grew up in the south of Kent and we visited Whitstable when I was a child, frequently. Dad had a speedboat and we used to waterski from Whitstable and from the surrounding coastline.

I have been off work this week and the weather has been pretty pants so even up until yesterday morning we weren’t sure if the weather would hold up for us. It seems we had Mother Nature on our side as it was a glorious day.

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We wandered past the harbour and saw the fishing boats, took in the sights of the seafood market, browsed the wonderful shops in town and admired all the beach huts and houses.
Dad normally has a couple of naps during the day but he stayed awake the entire time and smiled all day (unless he is having his picture taken as below!)
We drove a short distance and went to a wheelchair friendly place for lunch.

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We had such a wonderful day. It was the happiest I have seen Daddy Bouche since our wedding, two years ago. I am a little bit cross with myself that I have not done this sooner as we both enjoyed it so much. One thing is for sure, we will be going out on more trips in the future.

Happy birthday Daddy.

Lots of love

Your loving daughter

Bouche

x x x

You are beautiful, no matter what they say.

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Can anyone tell me what I wrong with the above picture? Anyone?

In my opinion the picture of young Ms Aguilera is stunning. She looks so healthy and the Michael Kors dress looks beautiful on her. After years of looking like she needed a decent meal, she now looks womanly and sexier than ever.

So why is it, the press refer to her as overweight, that she has ‘squeezed herself into her dress’ and that it does nothing for her figure?

It was only yesterday, that I read that Kelly Brook’s curves were what dieting women aimed for, over a super slim Victoria Beckham. I wonder if you asked a group of both men and women whether she looks healthy and sexy what their answer would be?

In fact that is exactly what I have done today. Well, I asked people what the first word that came into their head, when they saw the above picture and I am pleased to say that not one person commented on her weight!

I wonder what these journalists writing these articles look like? I bet no where near as beautiful as Ms Aguilera. She is a talented, attractive mum who supports numerous charities and puts her status to good use! Why focus on the fact that her backside is a little larger than it once was. Regardless, she would look great in this dress size 6 or size 16.

So what is wrong with this picture? Absolutely sweet FA I tell you! She looks great.

I will leave you with the following question from a colleague at work ‘you’re not buying that dress are you?’
When I said no, the response was ‘good, not sure you could pull it off!’

Big bottomed Bouche (who is a little bit jealous that Christina would always pull that dress off!)

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